PERSONAL MONOPOLIES, PERSPECTIVE, QUESTION BEHIND THE QUESTION

SHOW NOTES:

  • (05:42): Curiosity creates uniqueness

  • (09:20): How do people influence and shape you? 

  • (12:19): Writing, public speaking, and communication

  • (25:06): Would you like to visit the past or the future?

  • (32:02): Individual uniqueness 

  • (41:49): Reflecting on your past, present, and future

  • (50:27): Describing questions behind questions 

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

https://perell.com/note/build-a-personal-monopoly/

QUOTE NOTES:

“Curiosity is underrated”. – Misbah

 

“What I say and what people hear are two different things”. – Bryce

 

“It’s a life you don’t need to run away from.” – Misbah

 

“Take what you need and leave the rest. “- Bryce

 

“You have to go through the experience in order to understand the past, and then develop the tools to play in the future.” – Bryce

 

“Having the empathy to understand that we’re all a bundle of stories, helps us create better connections helps us seek to understand the choices that people make.” – Bryce

 

“Once you develop patience, you can practice the art of love.” – Bryce

 

“Just be yourself, whatever that is. And know that that’s enough .” – Bryce

 

“Do the right thing when nobody’s watching.” – Bryce

 

Transcript

Misbah  00:00

What’s up, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of Human Evolution Project, you know, we were talking off-air as we normally do. And we’re like, Hey, why haven’t we pressed the record button yet. And often we lose out on great stuff. And in on the spot thinking sometimes, and so we hit it. And we want to kind of continue and pick up where we left off. But to kind of give people a recap, Bryce, where were we kind of at what were we discussing, because you had a pretty awesome competition this weekend, it made you kind of spark a lot of thoughts around how you relate to Training and Fitness to competing. And I think that’s a fun place to explore. But there’s so much more to it than that.

Bryce  00:36

Thank you so much to our listeners for joining Misbah and, we are, I honestly joke that I wish Misbah and I lived in the same city. He’s out in Philly, and I’m out here in San Diego. And he and I just have this unique connection. We’ve had it for a long time now, that is bonded around outside of the box thinking about deeper levels of thinking. And sometimes, you know, we get into these deep conversations within the human experience and how they relate to his world within comedy and production in my world within the fitness and being a lifestyle entrepreneur. And it’s so fun sometimes to have these conversations. But there’s a unique relationship that happens with the podcast space when you press record, where it changes the mindset a little bit. And what we try to provide for all of our listeners and viewers is this unfiltered, true, deep, authentic conversation around the shift in intention from the varying fields that we’re in. And what I was mentioning to Misbah offline is I did a really cool competition this weekend, it is called High Rocks. And for those of you not familiar with it, it’s a it’s kind of like we’re CrossFit and maybe obstacle course racing got together and then had a baby. It’s a lot of conditioning and cardio, there’s a 1000-meter run in between each one of the stations. So it’s a very cardiovascular intensive event. And then in between, there’s some sort of modality so it starts with 1000 meter skier, and after the run, then you run and it evolves to a sled push that’s relatively heavy, and then a run and then the sled pole, and Iran and so forth. For those of you guys interested check it out at highrocks.com. I don’t have a partnership or anything with them, I just thought is a really cool modality that removes some of the complexity that we sometimes see within CrossFit. And what I was mentioning to Misbah is what’s so cool is when I partake in these events, now being in my early 30s, the perception is significantly different. It’s around the transferable skills that come from the art of movement and the art of competition and what people are thinking and what motivates them to keep going. And how some of these unique challenges can then transfer to being a better business owner being a better parent being a better human in general. And so we were kind of spitballing back and forth around how intention shifts over time. And it’s less about trying to gather the cheat codes associated with Hey, how’d you run that so fast? What was your morning nutrition? Like? What’s your sleep score on your whoop, or your Garmin or your Fitbit or your Apple Watch? And it’s more so about anchoring in between the ears around what is your day-to-day looks like? How does movement positively or negatively impact the other facets of your life and kind of deconstruct that a little bit. Because when we look at the volume of people that typically partake in these weekend warrior style events, like marathons, half-marathons, Spartan Races, mud runs, typically those are people that are entering the field of play, but also have so much so many other things going on. And so it’s cool to have those unique conversations. And then, at least for me personally think about how I can use movements and the craft to motivate, inspire, and then connect with a lot of those people. 

Misbah 

I think, what’s the question behind the question, right? So we’ll use that example of the whoop, hey, how do you get such a great loop score, or you hit your 10,000 steps? The question that you’re really asking is how do you structure your day to get enough sleep so that you have an amazing loop score? Or how do you structure your day to go outside and get those steps? Or do you do it inside that? That type of questioning? I wonder it’s like I think it’s a skill. I think it takes enough of poking around at the first part where you’re like, give me the cheat codes. And then you try some of the cheat codes. And you’re like, oh, man, I still can’t get past level two what’s going on here? And then that forces you to evaluate a little bit more and go okay, I need to dig further in podcasting.

Bryce 

Jumped in right there and mentioned to our listeners and to you that a lot of it’s like a video game like you don’t know what you don’t know you. As you go through the process, or as we like to, we’d like to say the human experience, it unlocks new levels, but unlocks new mental capacities. And I think one of the famous people out there said something along the lines of, you know, as you get smarter, you ask better questions, and you get more curious. And it’s so funny because you look at children. And they’re like, Well, why? Why Misbah? They’re always asking, and we lose that because we’re like, oh, that’s just the way it is. We just learned to accept it. And I think what we’re bringing to the table, and giving them a seat at the table is a why not question why we do what we do and how we do what we do. And then who we decide to share it with?




Misbah  05:42

I think curiosity is so underrated. I mean, it was something that drove me when I first started making anything or even in the fitness world back in 2016. I was really driven by I want to see if this works. I know this person said it does. But I want to see for myself, does it work for me? I think that curiosity? I have I’ve only recently seen that, Oh, wow. It not only is it valuable, but it’s something that actually separates and creates uniqueness in the marketplace, right? Because nowadays, at least for me, I like people who ask good questions and are curious about something. And I’ll take that any day over somebody who comes at it with a more I know everything, I’m the authority on this topic approach. I don’t know if that’s just that’s beyond me, or that’s just a personal marketing style that I enjoy. But I heard this recently, while I was listening to this concept called Personal monopoly by David Parral. And he talked about being a citizen of the internet, you want to create kind of this trifecta of uniqueness so that you are the only person who kind of does what you do. There are a lot of trainers out there, but there’s only one Bryce, right. And I was fascinated by how curiosity was one of the main, you know, corners of that triangle that creates uniqueness. So the second you add curiosity into it, you’ve now even if you don’t know the answers, you will ask better questions to hopefully draw other people who are also exploring those questions. I don’t know, I think I just underestimated how valuable that connection is in finding other people who are into what you do. To some degree.

 

Bryce  07:25

It’s kind of a way to describe that though, like the personal monopoly. But more importantly, the what I’m hearing is the elements of perspective, you and I can put a picture, we see two different things based on our lenses based on upbringing traumas, how we’ve, you know, what we’ve been consuming, right? That’s a form of nutrition, what we read, who we have conversations with who we spend time with. But I also and I love saying this, you’re describing what Perl was talking about with regards to online internet style, marketing and connection. And it’s this unique concept of frequency that we’re starting to develop, where if you and I spend time in a room, I can feel the energy in your presence. But now I think, and this is very new. I think when you go to a certain website, a certain page, a certain YouTube channel, we’re learning the skill of connecting with the frequency of the deliverables from the individual, that can be content that can be body language, it can be how much they smile, that can be the way and manner in which they carry themselves, the photography, there can be so many elements that influence that, but we’re, we’re highly trained as animalistic biological creatures to understand the frequency, but now the game is changing, because there’s this whole internet side of things. And for our listeners, I’m gonna flip this conversation a little bit, make it a little interesting if you can reflect and look back on your life Misbah. And I want you to try to be as authentic as you can here, and I’ll answer back as well. Okay, is there a particular person that you can remember that was highly influential on your life as a kid? And why and how, and I’m happy to start if you want to, and it’ll make sense where I’m taking my conversation here in a moment.

Misbah  09:20

Somebody came to mind right away. And it took me a while to figure out why this person had maybe the impact or significance that they did overtime when I was chasing fitness and being a professional in that realm. This person, you know, their, their words and stuff related to me differently than, you know, getting into comedy or getting into podcasting, but that person was Russell Peters. So he’s a comedian who he’s Canadian, Indian, but also Canadian, and I saw him when I was probably 10 or 12 years old on YouTube, or when YouTube was exploding, and he his clips made me go. I can’t believe someone can talk like that. Like this dude is so cool. How does he like Is this because back then you don’t know that they Oh, it’s a set. He’s done this 100 times, you’re just like, This is how he is is how he talked. And it was so funny. I remember being so excited about it that I showed it to everybody, right? My dad, my cousin peep different everybody. Oh my gosh, have you seen this video? And it wasn’t that I was like, Oh, I’m so funny. Look at me, I’m like this guy. It was that he acknowledged certain things or talked about certain things that I related to. Right, that made me be excited to also share that and represent it. Just long term. What it did was it forced me to figure out like, how the hell does he talk like that? Like, what goes into that? Oh, wow, there’s writing Oh, wow, there’s messing around on stage, you know. And then I would say the bigger umbrella of kind of diving into communication and trying to like, get a little better, right at that he really influenced a lot of that for me early on to where it was like, you know, at different stages, it meant different things. But really, it’s like, I don’t think I would have been as fascinated with communication, which then wouldn’t have led to podcasting or coaching or any of those things, you know, if it wasn’t kind of foreseeing that.

 

Bryce  11:14

Russell Peters, right, just for our listeners.

 

Misbah  11:18

The reason if you’ve haven’t heard of him, you know, I think to give you a quick recap, and why I think he’s fascinating is he’s done five, six arena tours, which is very, almost impossible to do think like Kevin Hart style, 15,000 seats, Oakland arena, Madison Square Garden, places like that. It’s not easy to think about how hard it is to get five people to show up to an event and do something. So 15,000 people, that’s impressive. And who does this internationally, and not just one tour, right? Like one special or what he’s done it over and over and over five, six times. And so he doesn’t also get the mainstream credit that he deserves. But he’s one of the grandfathers and founding fathers of stand up, especially for Asian Americans, I would say, because the before even Hassan or Aziz, or any of these people, he was the guy who was like, Oh, my gosh, this guy kind of looks like me, I’ve never seen like, like anybody like this.

Bryce  12:19

The impact of the image creates a likeness. It’s really fascinating to me how we can kind of relate to that. And it’s, I would love to say, kind of traditionally different. But I don’t know if that’s the right terminology, because it sounds like he paved the way before Kevin Hart and some of these other comedians were doing it. It’s unique because I mean, you and I can talk about things on a podcast and relate to people in our respective fields. But when you change the arena, and you go internationally, it’s like, are these jokes gonna make sense and another culture, like, that’s risky, it’s brave. But three major takeaways that I want to share with our audience from what you described is, number one is writing. I think that’s a major cheat code within our world is the power of writing. And that can be in the form of journaling, it can be in brain dumping, it can be a whiteboard session. But I do think making the time to put pen to paper is important allows us to deconstruct our thoughts. And whether that you decide to share that in a public forum is totally up to you, I definitely think that takes it to another level, because then you have to clearly organize and trim the fat. And there’s a little bit more risk involved. I guess, the other one that I think that you described as public speaking, I believe that’s the number one fear in the world. And so the fact that you were studying and learning about public speaking at a young age, it just shows why you’re so comfortable behind the mic now. And it’s very cool that both of those things were major takeaways from a huge, influential individual that you observed, studied and kind of laid out the carpet for you. And then the last one that I think is really important is communication. What I say and what people here are two different things that I think helped paint why you have the lenses that you do when observing the world when observing art when reading a book when integrating yourself within your craft or other people’s crafts. And so that’s part of the reason why I kind of asked that question is so that people could understand that your lenses are based on the uniqueness of the individuals you observed. And I love the line. Take what you need and leave the rest. And you took from from Russell Peters, is that correct? Yeah. The things that you related to that you could connect with? And you know, and I’m sure along the way, you’re like, oh, yeah, I kind of liked that too. And you kind of, you know, things stick kind of like Velcro and you You epitomize some of those things. And then over time, you kind of develop a little bit of your own style within leveraging the crack within each one of those doors, which is super cool. For me at a very young age, my grandparents passed away, my parents are a little bit older. And so we had a Nana kind of take take care of us when we were young, and she ultimately integrated into our family, she became just like my grandma, and, you know, still lives with my family. And it’s just such a special important part of our family. And when I was young, I actually knew Spanish before English, spending so much time with her. And to this day, I actually think in Spanish first, before owlish. And so that’s fascinating. Yeah, it’s interesting and like, I don’t use Spanish as much anymore. But then when I go home, like I did this last weekend, I spend time with her. And she has such a special warmth, uniqueness to her. She doesn’t have like formal education. But her lenses on the world are all around what we describe curiosity, love, this unique enthusiasm for life, this observation of nature, and this true connection and respect for the birds, the animals, the lizards, the butterflies, the flowers, the things that sometimes we walk past and don’t pay much attention to, because we’re so focused on the capitalistic mindset, or, you know, whatever seems to be stressing us out in that moment. And I think, since I kind of pulled three things from yours, what she taught me a lot about is patience. You really have to be patient to observe the world, and you can’t just like jump to conclusions, you have to allow the cocoon to blossom into a butterfly, you have to allow the flowers to blossom, you have to create an optimal concoction of sugar and water to get the hummingbirds to come to the hummingbird feeder and create the optimal environment for comfort for people to feel safe. And to be unapologetically themselves. And then, you know, once you develop patience, you can practice the art of love. Because you’re getting the real version of people, you’re they’re now arriving and their shoulders drop a little bit, you see them unapologetically be themselves versus this authentic acting of, I think I’m supposed to behave this way, in this particular setting for this particular individual. And so the last one, and I’ve said it repeatedly here is is authenticity. Just be yourself, whatever that is. And know that that’s enough. And I think you described it a little bit in your description along that this this unique permission to be yourself. And where I’d like to take the conversation, Max now that we’ve kind of painted the picture of lenses, and somebody that’s been highly influential, and kind of, I think that links a little bit with the value systems that we each possess, and I’m sure other people have their own. So I challenged them to explore like a particular individual that helped influence their life. But where I’d like to take the conversation next is I think there’s two kinds of people in the world. One person is like, hey, I want to be the best at that one thing. And so let’s pick a professional athlete as an example. They have to be so narrow minded and focused on that craft, that they can’t try to be an actor and try to be this politician or they’re trying to be the best athlete in the world. So that’s one person. And then I think other people are like, You know what, I kind of like these five or six things, and I want to be pretty good at all of these things. And that’s kind of what we’re seeing popular now. Which is this entrepreneurial mindset of like, hey, I want to be really good at podcasting. I want to be really good. In front of the camera, I want to be really good acting, I want to be really good in coaching, I want to connect with brands. And they’re they kind of relate but they’re also individual. And I think that goes back to what did you learn from the people you emulated? Were they single, single minded focus like a Kobe? Or were they diverse, kinda like DJ or Dwayne Johnson the rock? And so I’m just curious for you, specifically, a, what are your thoughts on these, this little fork in the road between these two types of people? And then be where do you kind of fall within there?

 

Misbah  19:36

Dude, before I get into that, I want to acknowledge that you pulled out three things that you learn from, you know, your nana, and me hearing that just to give people an example when you tell it and then when someone hears it. I listening to that story pulled out two things. One is you probably learned the art of noticing and not judging people to some degree right As it was like, Oh, she didn’t have maybe like a formal education, but she was one of the smartest, most intelligent people that you may have come across, in a certain sense. And early on, I’m sure that could have been something and also informed maybe a bit of your worldview. But it’s funny how when we hear other stories, what parts stand out to us, you know, but it was great to hear, you know, what you took away from that. And I think that this exercise is so valuable, because I’ll tell you which boat I’m in. I’m in the boat. Like, I really appreciate the elite, single minded, focused performer, like, I’m so envious of that, like the Elon Musk’s of the world, the Cobis, the all those folks that can just shut everything else out, be disliked, and go after one thing, even if it doesn’t make sense, right. And I, yeah, so I really admire that. But I think, at my essence, is probably in the other boat. And there’s a term for it took me a while to find out what it was, but it’s called multi potential light. And it’s popular, there’s this TED talk done around this where traditionally, we’ve always rewarded those single minded focus people, there’s kind of this, like, if you have two or three different things you’re really into, and they kind of complement each other, right, and you can become kind of the top 25% in each of them. That creates this inherent uniqueness. This concoction, I think it does take away from that single minded like, achieving that 1% of success that some of us want or admire. But to me, it’s more fulfilling, I think, to have this three to five interests that I get to share and explore. And I think the types of people I admire, like I root for both of them, I root for the person who figures it out like that, because it’s a lot of risk. It’s like writing a book, when you write a book, man, you go, Hey, this is all I’m going to think about and breathe for the next three to five years, right? That’s a risk. What if nobody reads the book? What if nobody’s interested in this thing? So I admire somebody who has the obsessiveness to go after something like that. But then I also I think, admire the people who have proven, Hey, you don’t need to just be great at one thing, you can do it in multiple arenas. And I think we see that there’s great examples of that. Now, like you mentioned the rock, right? There’s footage of him when he was young, like, I don’t know, 25, or something, just getting into acting, where it’s like, oh, you know, you’re a wrestler, like, what about acting? What do you do with that, and he was like, that’s a long term. Goal. For me, that’s gonna be a long, long, long term goal, right? Now, my job is to do this, this and this. And it was amazing, because like, it’s documented him talking about that, and you got to see it unfold like this guy actually lived it out. And over a period of 10 to 20 years, actually replicated his level of success. Kevin Hart is another example. Elon Musk, you name it. There’s a lot of people who just like can replicate it in different fields. Or, hey, here’s the best example Jamie Foxx, right? Somebody who can sing somebody who can ask somebody who can. You’re fascinated, I’m fascinated by that guy, because of how his mind works. And how he connects it all. He will never maybe be able to explain it. Right. But I, I like watching that. So I think I’m biased.

 

Bryce  23:26

Early on in human evolution project. And we talked about transitions. And what really fascinates me is, you know, those prime examples that you mentioned, is how do they create a bridge within each one of those different arenas that they choose to play. And typically, there’s some sort of connector, whether that’s a person, a brand, a mindset, a uniqueness that they can bring to the table that synergizes all things. And I’m always very fascinated within those transitions. My next conversation with you is, is a fascinating one. So we talked about how these experiences or these people help shape our worldview, and how that leads to, you know, are you typically a single minded focus person? Are you diversified? And my next question is, if you could have a time machine, would you rather go backwards and explore why you are the way you are? And the depth at which, you know, this worldview was shaped with this new mindset that you possess now? Or would you rather go forward and see how some of these things play out with your current mindset that maybe is not quite evolved and ready to receive the future world? And I don’t have a reference of time so I’m not saying like, specifically 10 years back or 10 years forward, just I generally backwards or forwards in relation to this picture that I’ve painted for you.

Misbah  25:06

 Dude, this is such a great question. Like it not only is it tough in the moment to think like, man, what do I value more here, right that the past or the future, because I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently, like, I don’t know, if you know, Jordan Peterson’s self authoring program, there’s like a past present and future type module where you kind of look back at your life and do all that stuff. So it this is kind of like on top of mine. And I, part of my first instinct was to say the past, because if I can understand everything that shapes me, and my unique unfair advantages and leverage points, I could have started way, way, way, way earlier, and not wasted time, maybe on stuff that didn’t align with those unfair advantages. Now, you know, of course, maybe it wouldn’t have played out that way. But to me, it’s like when you have this pure understanding of you and your unique strengths, and when I look at people who have like, like, somebody who’s achieved just a high elite level of success, they often started early on, not that you can’t make it when you start at 50, or whatever. Like, that’s also very inspiring to me. But you have an advantage if you’re Tiger Woods, and you picked up a club at four years old, and you’re practicing shots, right? So it takes a lot to know, right, that like, Hey, this is the game. These are the games that are worth playing for me that I have some zone and I’m in my zone of genius, I would have loved to know that very early. So I could double down and double down with conviction and clarity. So it’s not just like, Oh, I think this is the right thing. It’s like, No, this is the right thing, because I’m so like you said, I have this pure understanding of my past. The other one sounds amazing to me to like to see out into the future and how this all plays out. But for some reason, to me, I’m like, Well, if I have this understanding of the past, like, it dictates what I can do in the present a little bit better, which then hopefully translate to a better future or process.

 

Bryce  27:10

I didn’t say you could come back, man.

 

Misbah  27:14

I like this. I like this loophole.

 

Bryce  27:16

I like to that just shows what an innovative thinker you are, but I knew you’re gonna say that, like, I jumped into this, just out of curiosity, not even forward-thinking that it was going to bounce back on me, I guess my knee jerk reaction is to want to go back to the past, okay? Because I now possess the unique ability to ask better questions at, you know, in in an arena where you look at the unique conversations that older people will have with younger people. And sometimes you’ll hear you’re well beyond your years like, you, your mindset is really evolved or its age, and like, it’s such a great compliment. And I think that’d be cool to have the tools in the toolbox, through some of the experiences and things that I’ve learned from others experiences and conversations, to go backwards and be able to ask some some better questions that at the time, I didn’t know what I didn’t know, you know, but a part of that is you’re not really present because you’re constantly gathering information, knowing that it’s going to arm you well for the future. So yeah, there’s this subtle anxiety of you’re never where your feet are, which is where I think a lot of people are currently in this technological age that is evolving so fast. It’s like, how do I better equipped for the future? How do I plan for retirement? How do I make investments? How do I, you know, prepare for this digital age, and this potential Metaverse and be able to, you know, understand the ins and outs and all of these things. And it disconnects us from actually living and we’re constantly doing what I guess animals do prior to winter, where they’re like, I gotta gather, I gotta gather because it’s gonna be so cold outside, I don’t want to die. And so it’s this chronic fight or flight response that I think a lot of us are living in. But going into the future, I think I’d be really frustrated because I probably wouldn’t totally understand why people are the way they are. I think in the future, there’s gonna be a lot more technological reliance. I think that disconnects us from our biological hardwiring, or maybe it will change and shift but it’s it’s really fascinating when you like go out into public and you see so many people on their devices. And it’s tough to deconstruct, at least for me, because a part of me is like, guys put the phone away like just be present, have conversations be in the space that you you are currently in? But then the other part of me is also like, is that me being judgmental? Are they documenting their progress for fitness? Are they building their brand? are they connecting with people are they answering important emails and then just choosing to do it from their device versus it computer. Why does it trigger someone like me that they’re being disrespectful by doing that? Maybe they’re not, they’re probably not let’s go back to assuming positive intent. That’s way better living your life in that arena. But I feel like the future will become that, like, even this weekend. I was home visiting family for Mother’s Day. And it was such a beautiful day. And we were throwing the ball for the dogs observing nature, as I mentioned, and I couldn’t help but think, Wait, there’s kids that live in this neighborhood? Why don’t they go outside and play, they’re probably on their iPads, like, an all the the yards look so nice. And I was like, man, back in the day, the yards couldn’t be great, because we were playing hide and seek and we were jumping into the, you know, the planters and trying to hide and it was just a cluster, a cluster that was so fun and full of exploration. But now I’m highlighting and you know, bringing the past to the present, and being judgmental of the future. And both of those things are a me problem versus an actual world problem. So I think it’s fun to kind of deconstruct this. It’s not fair for me to describe the present as the messy middle, but it kind of is in relation to the past in the future.

 

Misbah  31:23

I think you’re right, man. And I think there’s something about exploring the past, if we’re looking at this from the lens of like, okay, what’s gonna give me the most success in the future financially, personally, emotionally, mentally, all these different things. There’s an element of be you Be your authentic self, you are unique, right? What does that mean, though? Nobody really ever goes into what like, how are you unique, truly, when there is somebody who has the same credentials as you and exactly, you know, more in certain areas, it’s hard to actualize what it means to possess…

Bryce  32:02

If actualize it for you, but it doesn’t quantify it as a metric. So it’s gonna be hard for the world. But I view it this way, you go on a one-mile walk. Along that walk, you gather different types of flowers, some are yellow, some are purple, some are pink, you might grab some sort of weed to tie the flowers together, you might have some complimentary rocks, you might develop some soil, or some sort of vase to put all the things that you gathered together. And each one of us is that unique vase. It’s a collection of experiences, moments, and these unique things that grabbed our attention in that moment. Relationships and all of us are a unique bouquet of flowers. But what’s challenging is, that nobody’s bouquet is precisely the same. You and I can read the same book, and there’s going to be a little bit of variance, but we can tell a story. What’s understood is a little bit different. We can watch a movie. And the things that stand out to us are a little bit different. And it’s so fascinating because it’s hard to quantify. But it’s so fun to have these conversations, and really highlight the importance of empathizing that, no, no, no, that person is disagreeing, but that doesn’t make them an idiot. That just means that their bouquet is a little bit different. Their sense of smell is different. Their observation of color, and beauty is different. And that’s okay.

 

Misbah  33:31

The uniqueness is connected to stories, right. So that bouquet is made up of either story that you remember, or you perceive about yourself that were told to you by other people that you saw. And to me, it’d be valuable if you could go back to the past and have such an immense understanding of the stories, not just for your own personal uniqueness, but like, how do you relate to other people? It’s through stories, right? It’s how we keep the debt alive. It’s how we actually learn more about somebody we have no idea about, it humanizes certain, you know, people. And so it to me, it seems like this skill that’s like in a world where you’re trying to create your own little corner and get your piece of the pie. The only way to express that bouquet in that uniqueness and show that off is to understand the story first and then be able to tell it right and serve the story and tell it to you know, it’s what it how it deserves to kind of be told. And so that’s why I think I agree with you on going back to the past versus the future. And then also the future is also like there’s an element of like, being comfortable with the unknown.

 

Bryce  34:49

I was literally about to talk about that yours always like right on the same wavelength. I love it.

 

Misbah  34:54

Well, I think we both made that choice of going back to the past probably for a reason is that the future is So is that the sense of unknown? And I think we both appreciate that magic or surprise or that what might happen. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m just like everybody else. I don’t like change, right? I like whatever the I’m just comfortable…

 

Bryce  35:14

We defaulted to comfort. We defaulted to what we think we know, without even thinking, which is our subconscious brain leaning that way. And my next question for you is, so we defaulted to wanting to have this mindset in the past to ask better questions, develop a better understanding, to make the present and the future better. But here’s my next question. And maybe Elon, or somebody out there will do this at some point. If you did go back to the past, and you ask better questions and developed all these unique tools to arm you. On your way back, would you bypass the present in order to make it to the future? Or would you want to come back into the present moment?

 

Misbah  35:58

Well, do you? Do you still get all the lessons, right? Like, do you still get all the lessons if you skip the present? I guess, right, because that’s a very important part of the present. That I don’t know if I’d want to bypass for that reason, where you just probably wouldn’t. It’s like winning the lottery, you don’t appreciate that money as much as you would if you made it another way, and really grinded and struggled for it. So I might choose not to, but I am a very, very end result like motivated type person where I’m actually surprised that my answer, I would think I would have told you like, No, I would absolutely skip that and go straight to the end. But part of it is like, I don’t think it would stick or the results with last or whatever the same way. If I skip them, what about you? Do you do you feel the same way.

 

Bryce  36:53

It’s a fun conversation to have, I always defaults, which is interesting, because I’m probably more like you were I like being a little bit more diversified and using the transferable skills in lots of different arenas than being single mindedly focused. But I always go back to that famous Kobe Bryant conversation, where he discusses the late nights, the early mornings, when you didn’t want to do it, when your knee was bothering you. You stayed up all night, for whatever reason, you know, finances were tough, you were in a disagreement with your significant other, life was messy, but you do it anyway. That is the dream. And that’s such a full effortful victory mindset. It’s trust the process, it’s be in the present moment, it’s do the right thing when nobody’s watching. It’s such a character oriented way of living, which really resonates with me. Because oftentimes, we get to the end results. And it may be a quick dopamine hit of success, it may be a punch in the face of failure and a learning lesson. But I think there’s something to this human experience that you have to experience, I think that word is so important. And I don’t know that you can really gather all of the frequency, which is what we discussed early on in this conversation, by just hearing about it by just reading about it and get in developing the stories or just looking at somebody else’s bow, okay, I think you have to go through it, I think you have to strive to travel their path, whether that’s mental, physical, or emotional, I think there is an experience component that helps maneuver our headspace a little bit. And if I relate it to the field of strength and conditioning, it’s like, you can’t just go sit in an exercise physiology lecture. And then develop all all the tools in your toolbox to be a great coach. You have to also understand biomechanics. You have to maybe integrate yourself within a lab where you understand elements of research and correlational research and why things are the way they are. But then you got to tinker, you got to play with things personally. Share it with clients and other people and say, Okay, does this work? Does this not work? Why does it work? Why does it work with this demographic? How can we maneuver certain variables, so it positively impacts other people? All of those things are experience elements, that I think if we relate that to other fields, it’s like, if you look at being an entrepreneur, there’s a lot of things that are swept underneath the rug that are not like, Hey, here’s the 10 steps to be a great entrepreneur. It’s like, oh, I screwed that up. I better go reach out to a mentor or hire somebody to teach me that skill, because that’s clearly not one that’s one of mine, and I experienced that daily. And it’s just this unique thing that you don’t know what you don’t know unless you experience it. And so I think bypassing the President actually leaves you A little bit ignorant for the future.

 

Misbah  40:02

100% is same way, like a quote, when you read it 10 years ago, and you come back to that same quote, yeah, it’s so hits you like, you might love it for some of the same reasons. But there’s a different image that pops up in your brain when you read that quote, because you’re automatically assigning it to what’s going on in the present. What’s important to me remember how we talked about Russell Peters? Early on in his conversation, we talked about communication, all that stuff. And comedy, like now, something in the last year or two, I’m really, really appreciating about him is YouTube, how he utilized YouTube, how much I love consuming it, and trying to contribute to it now in some way, he informed some of that too. And that’s an angle that I would think of, or identify when I was 12, or even when I was 20. But now I’m like, Okay, that is an exploit. That’s something that I’m drawing from the past that’s related to the present. That gives me some kind of meaning some kind of motivation, some kind of like, okay, this is how he applied it. Even if I’m not using it to sell out arenas, you’re like, wow, why did it work? Here’s, you know, it gives you a case study to kind of break down. So I think I’m with you, I think like, the dream, like you said, is, despite the struggle, being able to still show up and keep doing your thing, you don’t realize that that’s the dream, but like, once you really let it settle in, it makes sense, because it’s a life you don’t need to run away from, right, which is like, that’s the cheap, you know, you don’t need expensive vacations to get away from that. You could live it day in and day out with what you have currently. And you’re like, dude, I’m livid.

Bryce  41:49

If I were to summarize it a little bit, it’s at least this is the analogy that’s coming to mind at the moment, be in the sandbox, have both feet in the sandbox, totally submerge yourself in the moment, as best you can. But every every now and then it’s okay to visit the past, reflect, do the deep work and deconstruct maybe why you have the thoughts in the sandbox that you do. So maybe tinker with one foot out occasionally, maybe you hop out, you explore outside the sandbox over here a little bit. But spend the majority of your time in the present moment, seeking to understand playing, exploring, Digging, planting, and then occasionally, kind of pausing, maybe reflecting while staring at a wall. And trying to understand how are these things cheat codes to make my future better. So maybe you tinker on this side now and you dabble with a foot out or you hop out a little bit and you kind of strive to understand why things are going to be the way they are where you think they’re going. And you’re kind of playing with anticipation. But you spend the majority of your time with two feet within the sandbox. And I think that’s a really cool way to describe it. Because it doesn’t have to be either or it can be all of the above. But then when you look at the ratio, or the percentage of time, it’s like you have to go through the experience in order to understand the past, and then develop the tools to play in the future. And I think sometimes what I see is, people are never in the present moment, they’re anxious about the future, which makes them stressed about being stressed. And then sometimes they’re corrupted by the stories of the past. And they have a hard time deconstructing those stories, versus just seeing them as reflective tools and data points. And then the last thing that I’ll kind of say is, we are all a bundle of stories, we’ll use the analogy of the bouquet of flowers in the collection of things, but having the empathy to understand that we’re all a bundle of stories, helps us create better connections helps us seek to understand the choices that people make, why they are the way they are. And kind of having a little bit more of a positive insight as to why people justify the decisions that they make.

 

Misbah  44:20

I think what you sparked is like, I know we sound a little biased talking about the past, and then the present, but like and it sounds like the feature has not as much value. But what it made me realize is that the future can really help you break out of a certain rut to help live the way you kind of want in the present. Right. So when you wake up every morning at 7am, or whatever your time is, there’s automatically a certain set of thoughts that are dictated by what you did yesterday, at 7am and the day before and the day before and the day before. And that’s automatic program and software. that’s running. And so you’ve got to have a cheat code. And I think, if there is a way to utilize the future, it’s like, well, if you went to the future, what would a future version of yourself, what cheat codes would they give you? Like, Hey, man, you’re going to need this. And I think that’s a great way to think about the future and let it inform your present. Because it’s not to just get stuck, maybe in the future, or the past, like you said, it’s to use that to inform, like, exactly this moment, and the present. And the same way. It’s like, well, if you’re so focused on the future version of yourself, that’s like, This is who I want to be. It almost distracts away from the flaws that you have in the past version of yourself. That might cloud that goal, right? Like, oh, I’m terrible. I’m not good enough. I’m not all these things. But the future version of yourself, if you can really see it, you aren’t good enough, you can do this thing. It can put a little pep in your step in the present.

 

Bryce  46:02

And they’re so special. I think it’s always fun that we challenge people to think and never tell them what to think. 100% I hope people really enjoy us kind of exploring past present future a little bit. I think it’s something that’s kind of popped up a little bit more recently, I want to leave you and maybe others with a little bit of a tinkering thought a little bit here along the lines of we’re talking about exploring the past, trying to be present, and then pursuing the future. But sometimes, especially someone like me, who has an incredibly stubborn mind, when I reflect on the past, I’m like, oh, that worked. So then I take that into the present moment. I’m like, Well, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, it worked back then why can’t it work again. And sometimes, the person that goes from a to b did things with a certain policy and processes and procedures, but if that same person wants to go from B to C, they have to have the willingness and the courage to adapt, and evolve and change. And that’s scary. Sometimes that’s uncomfortable. And we all come face to face with with change sometimes. And there’s anger and there’s grief, and there’s frustration, and there’s lack of understanding. But I think it’s important sometimes to zoom out from from our current situation, strive to develop some perspective based on the bouquet of flowers that you have, that you may observe other people, and how they view your bouquet. Maybe you view their bouquet. And all of these things help influence the trajectory for the future, but allow you to evolve and upgrade in the current moment. And as the world continues to change and evolve, we will also have to do the same thing. But I challenge people to think about how there are transferable skills, they’re just maybe a different word. Maybe they’re applied a little bit differently. I mean, you look at human connection. Podcasts used to take place at a coffee shop, where just two people had a great conversation around life, and then they transition to a park bench. And then they transition to TED Talks. And then it became Oprah and Ellen DeGeneres. And all of these great conversations, which eventually translated into Lewis Howes on the School of Greatness, Jay Shetty, and Joe Rogan. And Rich Roll, and Misbah hawk. And so it’s just like, the evolution still has the same principle of connection. But it’s applied with a different frequency. And so I challenge people to understand that, upgrade their operating system and be willing to play in the new arena with the same skill set that they developed in other elements of their life. And I think it creates a cool operational frequency where people are no longer fearful or anxious of the future. They’re just taking some of the skills and the principles and kind of maneuvering them towards another end of the sandbox.

 

Misbah  49:08

Because here’s the thing, it’s coming back to what’s the question behind the question, again, it’s like not just looking at a title and saying, oh, podcast, host radio, personality, YouTube, whatever actor it’s like, well, what are the skills that allow this person to be a great host? What allows Oprah to be Oprah what allows, you know, Louis to be Lewis, Bryce to be Bryce? And then it gives you certain skill sets that you’re like, Oh, well, conversation, good conversation, good listening, right, being able to listen, okay, what other skills? Or what other titles does that apply to? Teachers, consultants, coaches, right. There’s an endless doctors. There’s an endless, you know, field of play that you can actually apply some of those skill sets to, but it doesn’t feel good. That powerful until you begin to break it down like that. You’re just like, Oh, I’m a, I’m my title, right fill in the blank. But when you actually look into what that makes up, what are the things you’ve become a little bit better at than most people just by doing that that’s like the true power and understanding that because that can be applied to a lot of other arenas if if you can even identify it, if you can even notice it, and observe and understand it.

Bryce  50:27

I love you mentioned titles. Because, you know, back in the day, I think it’s becoming a little bit less apparent now. But back in the day, I was like, Oh, hi, nice to meet you. What do you do? Yeah. And I think it’s, it’s a very complex question now. And I’d probably like to make it known that as human beings, we are complex creatures. We’re not any one thing. We’re all of those things. And we’re none of those things. And, and sometimes, I think the title game becomes so fascinating, because back in the day, it was like, Oh, you want to be a doctor, a lawyer, a firefighter. And now that conversation becomes a little bit more like you described the question behind the question. It’s like, well, yeah, some of the time I’d diverse it. I’ve diversified in over here. And other times, I do it over here. And so I think, at least where I’m at, and it’s probably very biased in all the different places that I like to share thoughts based on our mindset, tinkering. We’re human beings are not human doings. It’s not about what we do. It’s about how we integrate our bouquet of flowers, and our stories in what we do, and the way in which we do it, how we choose to share it. And I think that’s where the this unique magic comes, you talked about Elvis dust, I believe every human being on the planet possesses their own uniqueness. And it’s less about the title that you possess, and the paycheck that you collect, and more about how do you want to be remembered? How do you infiltrate a unique experience within those around you in the craft, that and the field that you are choosing to play? And that may shift over time, but I think there is a unique ownership that comes with that, where everything that we do has a little bit of our frequency associated with it.

 

Misbah  52:34

And there’s no reason to play otherwise, right? Because there is there are other people at this point 1000s of them that are interested in these very, very weird things, no matter what your interest, your point of view. It’s out there, right. So if you are able to, you know, invest even a little bit in in that and exploring it, you don’t have to, like know everything about it. I think something to recognize from today’s conversation is also that like, a lot of what we chase after is dictated by things that we feel or avoid, right? So even Kobe, like, the reason he spent six months working on a jump shot was because he was so terrible, when he was actually playing at in, you know, as a minor, and trying to get good, right. And so, out of that void is where that drive and ambition and a lot of stuff kind of came. And often when we’re in that void, you don’t feel like you know what you’re doing, right? You’re always between like, I think I got it. And then now I don’t really have any idea.

 

Bryce  53:39

I think our value systems and our bouquet of flowers is slightly manipulated by what was the value system of those that were around us as children. Yeah, if we did a certain thing to be getting praise, do we gain love? Do we gain validation. And I mean, I’ll just use myself as an example. As I’ve explored the last few years, my mom loved education she loved when we could read really well and speak very well and understand mathematics and the sciences and you know, understand historical facts. So there was a lot of value placed on education on my mom’s side of things, I wasn’t allowed to go play until I finished my homework, or I did the assigned tasks that helped a ton. I’m very thankful for it. But then on the other side, my dad had this huge value system around athletics and performance and striving to position ourselves to maximize the physical capacities and attributes. So I had this unique push, pull back and forth of, well, I get love and validation for school, but then I also get love and validation for athletics. And then I get to connect with other people. And there’s other things kind of sprinkled in that manipulate the value system. And I think everybody has that to some degree, and it’s not Not always from parents, sometimes it’s from coaches or grandparents or aunts or uncles or cousins, or even friends. And it’s this unique thing where where do we gain value, when we’re young that helps foster and maneuver the headspace as to how those value systems evolve over time, and where we choose to position, our Northstar or our focal points. And I think people should challenge themselves to understand that or try to understand that. So that way, they can either be in alignment with it, or a cage occasionally challenged, okay, I did that for a long time, because of XY and Z. But it’s no longer serving me anymore. So I’m gonna let go of that. And I’m going to evolve in a different way. But I think you have to explore the past in order to understand that otherwise, you’re in this unique loophole of circling the same thought processes over and over, as you mentioned, you know, when we wake up in the morning, it’s like, oh, this is just how we operate. It’s like, but do you have to operate that way? Or can we change the system a little bit and integrate a new habit, just like James clear talks about?

 

Misbah  56:10

I wonder if like, the most motivating thing on today’s conversation is like, you know, you are your stories, but at the same time, you can write new stories. And you can replace those flowers, right? Once that flower dies out, you know, that rose dies out, put a tulip in there, you know, throw something in there, that’s current, and that is representative of you today. And even if it doesn’t ever translate to professional stuff, I think on a personal level, especially when you hear so much about like being motivated intrinsically, and all that stuff, like it’s worth it to understand how you think and operate and what your stories are, because you’ll bump up against that intrinsic motivation, no matter what you do, at some point. And I think the more awareness you have around what you value, what your inherent like, you know, growing up, like what things were instilled in you, that, you know, I want to keep these things, I want to leave these things, that is probably one of the most valuable skills probably today is that awareness, that self awareness people talk about, I think that’s what they mean, by developing ads, knowing, hey, this is who I am, this is what I’m good at. This is what I’m not good at. This is where I’m looking to double down. This is where I’m going to say, hey, that’s for somebody else. And, you know, whatever. So I think I think today’s conversation was so fun exploring past, present, and future, there was a lot that I know, I’m gonna go back and probably take some notes. So thanks for doing this with me today.

 

Bryce  57:36

Thanks for letting me throw you on the spot and kind of ask some challenging questions. There’s a couple of quotes that I’d love to leave people with. Oftentimes, when I mentioned Viktor Frankl, we talked about the famous quote of “space, and your power to choose”. But he’s got another one that I really love, which I think relates to today’s conversation, which is, “If you understand your why you can bear almost anyhow”. And I think that’s what a lot of this is, is it’s self exploration is doing the deep work sharing those conversations with others to understand why we are the way we are. And I think in doing so, it leads you to another quote, which is “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead, where there is no path and leave a trail”. And I think the world now is really creating avenues for many of us to create our own path, which maybe differentiates from the previous narratives that we’ve read of, hey, you pick this one field, you stay down that field, you are this way, this is what you are. And it’s like, well, that’s what I was, that may be what I am sometimes, but maybe I can be something a little bit different and create a different roadmap that maybe you’ve never seen heard or explore explored before. And so both of those things, I think, leave the conversation open. For people to paint the picture that they think is relevant for them, enter or pull out the roses or the flowers or the different things that make them who they are. And hopefully have some fun and share some cool conversation and connection along the way as they create their own unique recipe for the human experience. And so make sure to share what you find.

 

Misbah  59:21

Yeah, this was really fun. Thanks for doing this with me and anybody who’s listening if you stumble across a story that you didn’t think you were gonna find if you’re open to sharing it with us make sure to reach out at the real Bryce Smith on Instagram and at Misbah dot hawk. I would love to hear from you and we’d love to hear your stories and make sure to rate and review if you enjoyed this conversation wherever you’re at. That always helps.

 

Bryce  59:44

Thank you guys for peeling back the layers of the human experience.